Entry #53: Gunslinger Face

Stephen slacked off on this entry, claiming he was "tired" or some such nonsense, so I, Bryan, shall fill his place. I was right to distrust the Mexicans, for as soon as we set foot in their town, trouble arose. Three of them surrounded us and began took our hat, going so far as to take our shoes to boot. (Get it?) This arose Marston's anger enough to cause him to shoot the trio, which gained the notice of a nearby old timer. An old timer who was a master gunslinger! He soon taught us how to do Level 3 of Dead Eye, which let us paint targets manually rather than automatically! This should prove to make combat more interesting and perhaps a bit more difficult. (Something we've been having somewhat of a problem with so far.) After we tried this out on a few bottles and birds we went on to the real deal: a captured cart. It proved a lot more interesting to take someone out behind a human shield when we were required to carefully aim for the head rather than just allow the automatic painting to do the work. This should also help to avoid friendly fire more often and hopefully stop our horse from getting an untimely death. The old man, who's assuming an obvious mentor role at this point, is a very welcome change from the miscreants we've been running with as of late. His critique of Marston's skills as being "unhoned" and "sloppy" seem odd, considering nobody's proven to be a decent match yet, but I guess we'll have to take his word for it. He seems to know what he's talking about.

Mexico has been an adventure so far, and we've barely stepped into it. The atmosphere is just as distinct and well crafted as New Austin, so I look forward to seeing what else this dangerous land has to offer.

Entry #52: The Shady Peddler of Lies

We arrived at the town we were aiming for, but a shady-looking man pulled us aside before we could enter. He wanted us to help him steal a carraige in exchange for pesos or whatever currency they use in this land. As we planned to live a life of crime as a Mexican outlaw, we accepted. The job was easy enough, but come time to collect payment, he didn't seem to give us anything. Bryan was ready to shoot his horses, or possibly the man himself, but I roared out for him to stop. He wanted to kill this peddler of lies, but I told him we would NEVER make it in Meh-hee-ko by making enemies, amigo! He darkly agreed and our intense debate was at an end. We are now camping outside town, waiting for dawn and our first entrance. I feel ominous waves from this new adventure.

Entry #51: Mexico

After a thrilling raft ride with Irish, we made it to the other side in one piece. He made some funny jokes, gave us some terrible advice, and rode off to leave us all alone. Fortunately, our horse apparently grew wings and flew to our rescue, but lost the wings before we could see it with wings. Now we wander the lonely fields of Mexico feeling alienated and out of place, wondering if Mexicans eat Americans or use them for gladitorial events. Heck, that's what we'd do to Mexicans! All racism aside, it's time to find Bill.

We're Going to Mexico, What's it Matter?

It's me again, Steeeeeeephen! We took a break to play Viewtiful Joe, which thoroughly beat us. Oh, it's fun, but entirely cruel.

Well, reader whom I feel the need to call "pardner", this is our last American entry before heading off to foreign soil. We were almost to our buddies Irish and Mr. West Dickens (and I use the term loosely; Irish, that is) when a fellow stopped us and asked to compete is some foolish race... or some annoying thing... well... we shot him in the leg.

"We're going to Mexico, what's it matter?"

Entry #49: Liars and Cheats and We Shoot Their Legs

The tailor was alive and well. We bought most of what we needed from him and headed back to our pad. One of the things we bought, being sneaky and all, was a suit that would allow us to cheat at Liar's Dice and Poker! We strolled into the saloon cocky as could be and found us another game of Liar's Dice. Not long into it we found our ability to cheat was oddly absent and had to sit through a slow decline into loss. Angry at this, we charged out, regrouping in our house once more. We found out, much to our dismay, that the Elegant Suit (the one we had used) only let you cheat in Poker. While I suggested we do this posthaste, Stephen had a different idea in mind. We had a bandana now, which would let you do anything you wanted without affecting fame or honor, with the only drawback being an increased wanted level. With no law whatsoever in Thieves' Landing, something I just now realized, this really presented an opportunity for us. We were going to head down to the saloon, dressed in a Walton's Gang outfit, and shoot it up, paying those cheaters back for what they did to us. We burst in, shot our prime rival in the leg and commenced in tearing the place apart. When this was done, we kidnapped the liar and headed off to drop him in the river. This we did, but unfortunately we went with him. DEAD.

Since it didn't save our little escapade we had to try again. Things went smoothly until the end when we burst out the back door and discovered there was no railing, sending us flying into the river and... DEAD. SO we headed back a third time, and things seem to be going well now. We've done our duty and are now headed off for the border. To Mexico! Hasta la vista, America! Our plan is to make Mexico the place where we rack up a bounty, letting us allow our lawless side to take control. I look forward to seeing how this will go. Probably poorly.

Entry #48: We Ain't No Sissy

Thieve's Landing isn't a place for a sissy. Luckily, we aren't a sissy. We rode into town and first thing we did was stop a robber. It was a long process though, because we didn't want to kill the guy, but not because we're a sissy or anything. Morals and all that. We took an expertly aimed shot at his leg and downed him before entering into a fistfight which we easily won, tying him up afterwards. But this caught the attention of a passerby who started to fight us himself. Not wanting to kill the argumentative gentleman we led him over to a bridge and entered an epic Battle of the Heroes style duel! Though he fought with gallantry, he soon found himself in the river.  If he can't swim, that's his problem. But at this point the man we'd been chasing had glitched and we couldn't pick him up, so we just left him where he was on the bridge. Finding the tailor was closed, and making quite a ruckus about it, we made our way into the saloon and joined a game of Liar's Dice. Liars indeed, because these fools were cheats, we were sure of it! We lost badly and pulled a gun on the morons, but we soon found a multitude of guns aimed at us. We backed down, though not because we're sissies or nothing, and aimed to leave the place. But hark! A scream rent the air and we saw a man ready to stab some lady. (An all-too-common sight.) We downed him, but a price came with that: namely, a price on our head. (Not literally, it wasn't a bounty or anything. People just started shooting at us.) We charged away from the saloon and through an empty building, losing our pursuers and heading to our house in town to lay low for the night. Now that a new day has dawned we're hoping the tailor will open at some point and allow us to finally pick up those scraps.

#47: Entry With No Name

We cleaned up Pike's Bason good. We also found Jimmy Saints in another spot of trouble. Where will that man turn up next? That's about all I have to say. That went even quicker than I thought it would.

#46: I Was A-Bittin' By a Rattlesnake Please Adopt Me

"Immolate him, immolate him!"

That was the chant leaving my lips as we stared at our new prisoner. Yes, we had brought another one back to our house, and were contemplating how to bring about his demise. Right when we were doubting our evil ways... we heard a rattlesnake. A new idea sprung into our minds and we tossed him outside, placing him next to the deadly creature. But it wouldn't strike. Maybe he was being too still... we untied him and he made a break for it, but... zapow! We lassoed him good and dragged him back towards his awaiting doom. Still no move from the snake as we walloed the man's face into it, eventually even getting the snake on top of him. Things at last went somewhere when he let him go and the snake bit out upon his sudden move for freedom. We followed him awhile, considering a few options, including immolating him anyway, since he might spread the poison. We decided we had to take pity on the sick bloke, as the house's evil influence was diminishing, for we we were a ways off from it by now. So, we took him in to see the doctor at Armadillo. It was late, so we had to leave on on the doorstep with a note reading: "I was a-bittin' by a rattlesnake please adopt me." We trust the good doctor will see things our way and take pity. It's off to Thieves' Landing for us after we stayed in our house for one last night. I'm thinking we should turn outlaw in Mexico, because I don't like Mexicans. Stephen says he doesn't endorse this, but I plan to let him play just long enough before we make the trip to let me have a go at the controls again.

Entry #45: Good Deeds and Their Rewards

We did our good deed of the day and returned a missing safe to the Armadillo bank. In doing so we even found a piece of the Walton Gang outfit that had been eluding us! All that's left is to purchase the last scrap at Thieves' Landing (which is where we're headed) and we'll finally complete one of those darn things.

Entry #44: Gone!

He wasn't there. We must've killed a hundred or two bandits and Bill had already fled the scene. To Mexico, no less! So it looks like we're maybe about halfway through the game and are done with the America "campaign". I wonder how different it'll be down south? Will everyone speak Spanish? If so, we'll have to learn fast, or just shoot everyone who could possibly be insulting us. First we've got some stuff to tie up in America, though, such as jumping over fences and TNT. That's an integral part of this land.

Entry #43: Impending Invasion

This entry must be quick, for I sense impatience from my companion and my own heart. (He didn't say nothing, by the way.) So we were travelling to Fort Mercer, stopping only to knife fight wolves, being the tough cowboy we are. (And to pick a few flowers.) But we made it, and were better for it, too. Now we are within West Dickens' cart and ready at the gatling gun. We suspect this isn't actually going to be the end of the game, as that would be rather lame, and I've heard the game specifically has multiple climaxes. Unless the glass eye was one of them, I have to think there's more past this. But will this end in Bill's death? Time will tell. And I probably will too, soon.

Entry #42: Boringness

Boring day in Armadillo. We got there before sunrise and were hoping to visit the gunsmith. Still closed, though, and we had to bide our time. There wasn't one mite of amusement going on that day beyond a quick game of "Dog-Hopping" (hopping over a dog), which was a major disappointment for a man looking to kill time. Eventually the gunsmith *did* open, but had nothing new to sell. We reluctantly decided against shooting him and went on our way. Oh! Stephen got into a duel on the way out! Things are looking up.

Entry #41: Wrecked

Well, that didn't go well. On the way to Armadillo we came across a man in need. He wanted us to get his wagon back. We obliged, even though he may have been a lying crook and hiring us to steal someone else's wagon, and charged out after the offender. The wagon was *fast*, though, and even our new stallion couldn't keep up. We were forced to draw our gun and end things the hard way. Then we jumped onto the wagon and rode it back towards its rightful owner, but not without incident. Seconds after taking control we smashed it against the rocks and wrecked it, sending us sprawling into the middle of the road. Marston laid there, seemingly dead. He continued to lay there. Seemingly dead. And continued to. And people passed by, seeming to not notice. It was very obvious we had just had a wreck, but they didn't care So, we reloaded our old save and are no heading out. It's all for the best. In that save we had also fist-fought several farmfolk and tied them up. I wasn't feeling too good about that, especially since there was a witness. Stephen says it was all okay, because it started with someone insulting us, but I maintain we need to keep a cool head after The Incident.

Entry #40: Distractions Abound!

It's been quite a long while! Nearly 24 hours, in fact. What was to be a short break led to be a very long one when we began to play the *other* game we have out from GameFly: Viewtiful Joe. We missed it when it first came out back in 2003 (was it 2003? Somewhere around there at least) and decided to give it a go. It may have been unwise, considering we're also playing through a game of immense size, so it goes. Things took longer than expected, however, when just the first level alone took us multiple hours! We ran across giant helecopter mini-boss that gave us endless trouble, and as the night came to its close we threw down the collective and metaphorical controller in anger and called it a night. Today we picked it up once more, deciding to go with the game's easier difficulty... "Kids". (Rather than adults.) It was a bit demeaning, though the boss posed to trouble, at least. But this wouldn't do, and soon we were back fighting the dreaded battle at its correct difficulty. We discovered we'd missed a key component (kicking the bullets back at it for those interested) and had little trouble dealing with it with that in mind. We then tore through the rest of the first level and finished, a distinct sense of accomplishment present with the feat.

Another thing that took up a good deal of our time was E3 coverage. We've watched all of the Big Three's press conferences at last and rank them as follows: Nintendo, Sony, Microsoft. It's a pretty common order, for us, anyway. I won't go into great detail, but some of the highlights included Uncharted 3, Nintendo's new machine, the Wii U, and Halo 4's announcement. But enough about new and upcoming games! We have old games to play, and you can't get older than one in the wild west! I'll pretend that makes sense and turn back to the game now. The fortress will soon fall!